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Troubling news here in Grouchy Land.  I learned that my 85 year old grandfather had a heart attack yesterday and is in ICU on a ventilator. My Aunt is frantically trying to save his life and I wish she’d just make peace with it and let him go. He’s had several health issues over the last few years and his mind is gone. They’ve had to lock him (literally) in the Alzheimer’s ward because he keeps wondering off to feed the cows.  He hasn’t had any cows since he was a very young man.  It’s all just very sad.  He is a stubborn old coot and he’s survived several times when we didn’t expect him to and his body may recover.  It doesn’t change the fact that he doesn’t know who or where he is.  That, he can never get back.

Sometimes I think we treat animals better than we do each other. If a beloved pet were suffering we’d ease their pain and let them move on. But people we keep as vegetable pets for as long as their bodies will keep functioning.  It may sound heartless, but I wouldn’t want to live like that.  If I’m not conscious, if I have no quality of life then don’t keep me around because you can’t let go. Let me go. I’ll put it in writing here and now that if I’m ever in that state I WANT to be euthanized.  It’s the compassionate thing to do.  But this is not my decision to make.  My Mom and my Aunt know his wishes far better than I so I keep my thoughts on the matter to myself and let them work it out. 

Anyway, should I bug out for a while it’s because I’m dealing with family issues. I will be back.

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