I haven’t blogged in a while and I really have no good excuse. Its just been the same thing day after day and everyone already knows how much I hate my job. It’s getting worse though. I’m so fed up with cleaning up everyone else’s stupid that this week I just quit and developed a case of stupid of my own. That, and increasing my Zoloft dosage, has been quite liberating. On the one hand I think it’s sad that the only way I can get through a day is to be gorked completely out of my mind. On the other, warm kitty, soft kitty, little ball of fur…..weeee! If they ever get around to making pot legal in Texas I may become a stellar employee. “No she can’t think her way out of a wet paper bag but her attitude is excellent!” Actually the positive attitude may keep me from being employee of the year. Perhaps instead I should just stare at people, unblinking, not saying a word. I could be assistant CEO in no time! It’s been my experience that the blithering idiots are the ones that reap the benefits within any organization. Their responsibilities are shifted to others and they get promoted to something else that they’re too stupid to actually do and those of us that are reasonably competent will sit in the same chair, doing the same job, until we rot. It does not pay to care and with enough drugs, I should be carefree soon.
I’ve taken up a new hobby – jewelry making. I enjoy it because it keeps my hands and mind busy. But it’s an expensive hobby. I’d hoped to turn it into a side business but there’s so much competition that I haven’t been able to sell my creations. Too much competition sounds better than “Your work is crap that no one wants to pay money for.” I still enjoy it though and have some ideas for fun holiday projects – assuming I win the lottery in time to buy materials.
I feel like I’m reasonably intelligent – not mensa or anything, but reasonably intelligent. I’m usually the “figures shit out” person at any given job, especially at my current one, and it frustrates me to no end that I can’t figure out how to live a more comfortable existence. It’s not that I need for a lot, just a roof over my head and food for me and my two boys (who are cats, not kids). I also need the internet and books. Yes, those are NEEDS damn it! The rest of it I really don’t care about. I want a career that I can work on my schedule, at home, in my jeans and t-shirt. I know what I want but this time I just can’t “figure it out.”
Oh well. Maybe one of these days the answer will come to me in a dream – or better yet, in a winning lottery ticket – but until then it’s time to trudge off to the mind numbing, soul devouring job that I’m oh so lucky to have. Yay!