There have been some changes since my last post.  My account has been taken away from me.  I’ve been given the tiniest account we have and forbidden to assist any of my struggling teammates. It’s so frustrating.  While on the one hand, I do feel much better not working so many hours, it pains me to watch my teammates drown and not be able to jump in and help.

In addition I and another teammate were called in to receive verbal warnings on gossiping.  I have more sense than to voice my displeasure at work. That’s why I have a blog – to anonymously vent my frustrations.  We’re being targeted and I know it.  My teammate apparently lacks the sense I do and whined and complained when they called her in.  When my manager asked if I understood what she was telling me I answered, “Yes.”  When she asked if I had any questions or comments I replied, “No.”  She tried to goad me by telling me that my name was specifically mentioned but I just blinked at her and made no comment. She seemed genuinely surprised that I brooked no argument.   But I no longer care about that job.

I can’t remember if I’ve mentioned it or not but I’ve been diagnosed with cataracts. I can already see it in my right eye, or not see as the case may be. The doctor said that I’ll probably be blind in the next year or two if the cataracts keep progressing the way they are. So I go to the ophthalmologist next week to be assessed for cataract surgery.  I’ve decided that once I get my eyes done, I’ll be seeking alternate employment. I guess now that I have a goal in mind, I’m better able to let go of the trials at work.

I also went and saw the rheumatologist.  Apparently, despite having most of the symptoms of lupus, my bloodwork wasn’t positive enough.  She seemed more interested in the type of facewash I used and whether or not it was causing me dry skin.  She wasn’t the least bit interested in the issues I’m having with pain and stiffness in my joints.  She recommended a change in my depression medication and looking for a new job.  She said that all of my ailments would disappear if I found a job I liked.  I’m sure that the constant stress, anxiety, and frustration that I feel at work is not helping, but I know the pain in my body isn’t a figment of my imagination due to stress. She ordered some bloodwork and I’m going to see what she says about it, but then I think I’m going to find another rheumatologist.

So Tuesday I find out what the story is with my eyes and make plans from there.  Wish me luck Grouchlings, and try not to throttle those who annoy you.