I know I haven’t blogged in a while and I should. I think it helps keep me sane. Back in September I decided that I’d had enough of the job I was always ranting about and put in my notice. It was the right thing to do. I was miserable and from what I’m hearing, things have only gotten worse since I left. So I decided to move on to new adventures.

My goal was ultimately to be done with accounting once and for all. I really didn’t know what I wanted to do so I tried moving outside my comfort zone. I’ve always worked in an office environment so I decided to try my hand at car sales. I went and applied to local Kia dealership and got hired on the spot. I lasted a whopping 3 days. I really loved the cars, and I liked the customers but I didn’t care much for my coworkers and they’d hired more people than they had desks for. I was trying to sell cars out of a messenger bag. I admit that it sort of cheesed me that all the men had desks but I, the loan woman, was left out in the cold. The other thing that was harder on me than I care to admit is the hours. When I left I slept for 2 solid days afterwards. I’d hoped that once I wasn’t so stressed my lupus would subside, but the being out in the heat and long hours unable to nap really kicked my butt.

So I applied for a bunch of things: new home sales, hobby lobby, receptionist jobs, and couldn’t even get a call back. A temp agency called and said they had an accounting job available. Boogers. I really didn’t want to do accounting, but I desperately need some income. So I agreed to take the job. It’s covering a maternity leave so it’ll probably just get me through the end of the year. It’s also a 35mile commute each way which SUCKS. I just have to remind myself that it’s only temporary.

Today was my first day on the temp job. The commute sucked but I knew it was going to. The office was really nice and the people were ok. I’m pretty slow to warm up to new people, but everyone seemed nice. I’m just sitting there listening and absorbing the atmosphere. And there it was: the tension and anxiety that comes with accounting. The rude demands that things get paid yesterday, even though others didn’t do what they were supposed to do and even demands that accounting perform functions that don’t technically belong to accounting. I got a knot in my stomach. They don’t have time to train a replacement and they’re sort of counting on me. The employee I’m covering is so pregnant she could pop any day now and I gave my word to cover it. I just really don’t want to be there.

It’s hard to be 40 and still not know what you want to be when you grow up. I know for a fact that I don’t want to be an accountant.