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My job hunt is not going so hot.  Oh I’m finding jobs, I’m just not able to stick them out.  The first I got recently was a great paying job in accounting. The commute was over an hour each way and the woman I worked for was a psychotic witch.  I only lasted 3 weeks before I got fed up and told them to shove it. Then I got a seasonal job at Hobby Lobby. It didn’t pay as much but it was really a lot of fun.  I lasted 3 days and then my back seized up so bad I couldn’t breathe. I think it triggered a Lupus flare because my everything hurts now. It makes me sad that I had to give that job up. It’s also bad that I turned down another accounting job because I liked the HL job. Truth be told however is that I just don’t want to do accounting. People who are successful in accounting are just bitchy. I don’t know what causes it but every accounting department I’ve been in has been headed by some uptight, arrogant, vile tempered bitch. It’s not for me.

I’m stressed out.  I need income. I need to go to various doctors but I can’t because I have no insurance and no money. I’m just so sick of bouncing from one screw-up to the next. Everyone comments on how smart I am.  If I’m so smart why am I a 40 year old failure? I’m just so tired of everything. I feel like I’m drowning on dry land and I don’t know what to do.

Oh well. I suppose tomorrow is another day. Maybe my mood will lighten once my body stops hurting – if my body ever stops hurting.